"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."- Chuck Palhniuk
Because that quote rings so true, I decided I needed to create my own marker for an overall amazing year; one of happiness, laughter, and new beginnings.
Being in school makes celebrating the traditional new year hard because to me, August marks the end of one year and the beginning of the next. So, in the interest of entertaining my idea of a "year", I'll write about my year in Oregon; one that is rapidly coming to an end.
One year ago, I was packing up my life, saying goodbye to dear friends, and frightfully awaiting the changes that would inevitably occur. In a way, I was transforming into someone completely new. Shedding old skin and blindly creating anew. Left with no one to comfort me but myself, this city girl moved to the country side. Although very relaxed and calm, living in such an incredibly small town made me feel uncomfortably claustrophobic. I felt trapped and panicked. And interestingly, it felt very reminiscent of my childhood (although I'm still not sure why). Regardless, I pushed on. Had to learn to deal with feeling uneasy and had to actually become independent in all areas of my life. Although I missed out on a lot of social opportunities and initial relationship building with classmates, I learned some valuable lessons about who I am, what I need, and how to push my own limits. Since then, I have moved to Portland; probably one of America's best kept secrets. I developed some amazing best friends, ate some richly delicious food, laughed many laughs, and searched my soul til it felt nearly impossible to search any more. Living here has made me understand what it means to actually live. And that feeling, that feeling that can make you smile for no reason, is everything. And one I never want to forget. Consider this my daily reminder that there's always more growing to do. More love to be had. More people to meet.
My very own, happiness scar.
