"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
Today, I feel absolutely inspired. I have never felt so confident and comfortable just being myself. And since that is such a rare phenomenon, I felt like I should write about it.
It has been downpouring all day. But somehow, it has been the most refreshing thing ever. I never really considered myself to be a very "spiritual" person. I have tried to get in line with the ideas. I have tried to really take them in and accept them but something really blocks me from totally doing that. Like the other day for instance, I attended a yoga class that was "Zin" focused. It was the first of it's kind that I had ever gone to. Well, for those of you who have not attended such a thing, it's really comprised of about six postures (give or take a few) and the point of it is to sit for 3-5 minutes in each posture and really achieve this mental serenity. As Americans, we are so driven by the phrase, "don't just sit there, DO something!" but this class focuses on "don't just do something, sit there." Which is a nice exchange for me. So anyway, I'm sitting in this class and actually really absorbing the energy and quieting my mind. The issue I had with it began once the instructor started chanting and singing and passed out little pre-typed lyrics to this chant, encouraging everyone to chant along. Now, don't get me wrong, if I were to go to a Buddhist country and attend a class or spiritual engagement of sorts and they began chanting and singing, I would probably be overwhelmed with emotionality, spirituality, and an immense sense of satisfaction. But something about a white dude doing this in the middle of Portland makes it feel so disingenuous. So fake. So forced. So, needless to say, it felt tacky and I felt very disenchanted by the whole thing. So anyway, that is just an example of how sometimes, I feel very non-spiritual. Or, maybe that makes me more spiritual. Being genuine, honest,and purposeful in a candid way is probably much more "spiritual" and in touch with the world than rambling off some chant that no one actually understands with a bunch of people you don't actually know could ever be. Just saying.
To bring that tangential rant back home, there I was, walking my dog in a monsoon. Maybe some people would be completely turned off by getting soaked and consequently decide that today, they should just stay inside. I, on the other hand, have never felt so refreshed, renewed, energized, calmed, relaxed, and inspired as I did today. And in those moments, I felt very spiritual. In the only sense and way that I understand such a concept. And it coincided quite nicely with a rather long conversation about life and dreams I had earlier with a best friend from home. Which leads me into another idea that I sort of touched on earlier. My friend, who has passions and dreams that don't line up well with societal pressures and acceptances, struggles often with deciding whether or not following her dreams is worth the struggle and heartache that can sometimes trail along. And today, I say, of course it's worth it. It is only when you are confronted by challenge and adversity that you actually see your true potential and growth. Without such things, we would become stagnant, boring, useless. After all, everyone needs a story to tell. Might as well make yours interesting.
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