Out with the Old, In with the New

2011 is a year of changes. And being the slightly egocentric person that I am, I figured starting a blog to detail my every life event and change would naturally be appropriate. (Alright, I suppose it's a little late in the year to start but it falls in line quite well with my procrastination tendencies).

That being said, I am adjusting to my new home in Portland quite well. I largely feel like I was "cheated" out of the last 8 months of my life and getting to experience this city for what it is: Amazing! I would not recommend living in the countryside to anyone but retirees or toothless people who wear "shitkickers" as part of their daily getup. However, in an attempt to work on seeing the positive things in life more, living in the sticks enabled me to be introduced to Oregon by a very caring person with a great heart. And for that, I am very grateful. It also allowed me to discover the things I need in life and consequently, the type of living environment that suits me best; a lesson that is of utmost importance. 

I used to consider myself a pretty pessimistic person; walking around with a shitty attitude and an overall feeling of blahness. I have recently noticed that I have grown in leaps and bounds (that is--psychologically, emotionally, and mentally of course-- Lord knows this 5'0 frame is not getting any bigger!) And noticing changes like that in yourself has got to be one of the best feelings ever. Not only did I take a huge risk and leap of faith by independently moving here in the first place, but I continue to discover things about myself that I don't think would have been possible had I remained in good ol' Colorado.

I have been somewhat of a notorious worrier as of late. Diagnosing myself with Generalized Anxiety Disorder is just an extension of such. I think it sort of comes with the doctoral student territory... (Oh, thanks for voluntarily getting yourself in $200,000 in debt, now here's a heart attack!). In all seriousness, however, I doubt I have GAD. But to become more mindful and involved in the present moment has been one of my recent goals. Worrying constantly does nothing but help you develop wrinkles and ulcers. Neither of which are friends of mine, thank you. So... I am working on being the new, improved me. Someone who can stop and smell the flowers (which are absolutely beautiful here by the way), someone who can fall asleep easy without worrying what is going to happen six months from now, someone who can just...Be.