"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman
Sometimes I wonder if other people think as much as I do. Not in an asshole kind of way. Just curious. I feel like I spend a great deal of time just... thinking. Each morning I make sure I lay in bed for at least half an hour just to think. Is that weird?
Today I did a lot of thinking about my career. Like, am I even going to have one??? Pretty disconcerting when you are getting yourself into $200,000+ debt for it. I guess my concerns are largely based around the fact that what I want to do and the way I want to do it, isn't the popular way. The popular way is to treat people with prescription-like therapy, manualized treatment that completely denies individualization, treatment that focuses solely on the behaviors and thoughts, as if people somehow became robots and lost what it is that makes them human. Rather, I want each person to be themselves. And I want to approach treatment in just that way. No, I can't analyze everyone in the same controlled, research-based format, because no one person is the same. Likewise, I can't suggest that only ten to twelve sessions are going to be the solution. Wanna know why? Because it didn't take ten to twelve 50-minute increments to fuck a person up! But I digress.
Because the popular treatments are just as I described above- time and cost efficient- as well as "empirically based", I worry that I will struggle to make a living in the future. In an economy that is headed south of the shithole border, where therapy is considered a luxury for those who can afford it, will I even be able to be the therapist I want to be?? Sigh.
Not to mention I feel like I have absolutely no idea what it is that I want to do. Of course things interest me. In fact, many things interest me. But I feel like I have yet to discover which specific area is my passion. The thing that I will research day and night. The thing that I will enjoy wrapping my head around and envision ways of contributing to making that thing better. Time is a ticking so I better figure it out soon. Another sigh.
But who am I kidding? The apocalypse will wipe us all out before then anyway... ;)
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